Doctor Who OneShots
by kiliunderthemountain
Summary: Silly One Shot stories that come from the mind of a crazy Whovian. Rated T for eventual playful dirty talk and swearing... You guessed, Jack is in this.


**Chapter 2 - The Pub**

This was one of the days in which The Doctor felt fond of Jack.

Well, at least fond enough to not stop at a random point in time and drop him there.

Basically, when there wasn't anybody in need of saving in the galaxy, and the three time travelers were bored out of their minds, The Doctor gave each of them a choice of where to go.

Last time, Rose had chosen first, and so this time Jack had the preference...

Oddly enough, Jack didn't ask to go to Jormungadar, or Berlinkatan where the galaxy's biggest nudist beach was in.

Instead, he chose to go to Cardiff. Plain old Cardiff in the plain old planet earth.

Of course, for Rose and The Doctor this was quite a strange choice having all time and space to choose from, but Jack seemed confident of where he wanted to go, and so they followed along.

"You're going to love this, Doctor" Jack chanted along the way, practically skipping around. Rose and The Doctor had made several attempts to make him calm down, all to no avail.

"Okay Jack i'll love it but please walk like a normal human being" he muttered, his hands buried deep inside his pockets. He looked over at Rose, raising an eyebrow.

They walked for over twenty minutes, winding down small alleyways and hidden streets. The whole time the Doctor concentrated on a Rubik's cube he'd brought along, solving it once, asking Rose to mess it up, and solving it again. When finally Jack skidded to a stop The Doctor looked at him. They were in the middle of a small, dark alley, didn't seem like much excitement.

"Woo, dark alley...?" he teased, ending more of in a question. Jack just rolled his eyes, taking off his tie and moving forwards with it, fastening around The Doctor's eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asked, trying to pull Jack off him.

"It's a surprise! I don't want you to know where we're going to" he replied. The Doctor sighed, but allowed Jack to fasten the tie over his eyes. It was better than arguing with Jack.

"But why isn't Rose wearing it too?" he asked, wincing at the tightness of the cloth over his face.

"Oh she doesn't need one, she'll be perfectly fine with where we're going to".

Of course, this didn't help increase the Doctor's confidence.

{~}

They'd walked for about 10 blocks, the Doctor calculated. Finally, they'd come to a stop, and Jack had spoken to what sounded like a couple of men.

"Why are your couple's eyes covered?" they asked. The Doctor turned his face to where he thought Jack was, opening his mouth to say something. Couple? Why couple?  
"Couple, wha-" he started to say, but Jack elbowed him in the stomach before he could continue.

"It's his birthday surprise" he heard him say, followed by a whisper into the man's ears. At last they walked inside, and he could see flickers of light and voices coming around. Quickly, he took off the tie which was over his eyes, looking around. It looked like a normal club, people dancing, drinking, talking. He was pulled by the arm by Jack, before he could ask anything, over to sit in front of a bar.

"Uh, what is this?" he asked as soon as he was sitting down on a stool at the bar.

"Just a club, Doctor. Thought you might want to have fun once in a while" Jack said casually, sipping on his beer. He had a mischievous glint in his eye, and so the doctor decided it was better to simply not trust him.

"Right, club" he nodded, sitting back. Jack started to stand up and leave, and the Doctor caught him by the arm.

"Oi where you going?" he demanded.

"To dance, obviously. Nothing will happen, just relax".

The Doctor sat back in the bar, nodding and letting go of Jack as he blended into the dancing crowd.

'Just a club, what could go wrong?' he reassured himself internally, shrugging and leaning back.

{~}

The Doctor was too lost in a debate with himself over the existence of an edible planet to notice the two men approaching him. He thought they might aswell be heading to the bar just to get a drink.

But instead, they walked exactly in his direction.

He looked at both, they had a sass to their walk which was not commonly seen in most men. He disregarded it as just an effect of dancing too long. He turned back to the bar, sipping his soda.

"Hello pretty boy" he heard a voice close to his ear, the breath of the person on his neck. He quickly turned, to find his face dangerously close to one of the men.

"Woahh" he said, falling of the chair. Standing up, he put his hands in front of him as a sign of needing personal space. The man only seemed to move closer, so the Doctor took a step back only to stumble into the other man.

"Careful, handsome. You'll hurt yourself" the man behind him said, moving to put his arms around him. The Doctor let out a little squeak, turning so he was in between the two men, shoulders on either ones torso. He shut his eyes for a moment, hoping they'd move away. They didn't budge, so he opened his eyes and turned to look at one. A finger on his lips stopped him.

"So, you come here often?" one man asked.

"Actually no" he answered quickly, trying to move out of in between the men.

"Want a drink?" the other man asked, the doctor shook his head.

"Well then at least lets dance" man number one said.

"No thank you I-" he began to say, when he was pulled by the lapel of his coat onto the dance floor. Before he knew it he was in between the two men again, while they danced wildly in the front and back of him. He felt a bead of sweat on his brow, when a shining light caught his eye.

It was a blinkering flash of many colors, lights in the shapes of words. He squinted to see them better, his eyes widening in realization.

_Gay Pub_

He read the words over again. It wasn't a trick of the light, the sign clearly said Gay Pub. The Doctor looked around the club, only to be greeted by the sight of several men talking closely. Perhaps a bit too close. The Doctor slapped his forehead, looking at the floor.

_Couple, the guard had said couple. Plus the fact that Rose had walked away when Jack and I came in._

His eyes snapped back up when he heard a familiar voice, and he turned to find Jack walking out from the crowd. Jack looked up, and caught The Doctors gaze. He began to walk off quickly, eventually speeding up to a jog.

"Oh don't you dare" he muttered, pushing his way out from between the two men. He caught up to Jack.

He shouted a prolonged "JAAAAAAAAACK!" as he threw himself on him, tackling him down.

{~}

Somewhere, hidden beneath the walls of the gay pub, a very amused Rose Tyler closed up her video camera, laughing wildly as she sent the video to her email. She was not about to lose this footage, or miss a chance to use it against the Doctor.

Skipping happily, she went down in the general direction of where The Doctor had tackled Jack, hoping that Jack hadn't been punched yet by a raging Doctor.

Well, she was hoping he hadn't been strangled to death.

Again.

{~~}

**Author's Note: **

**Hullo! So, how'd you like the gay pub chapter? Just thought that'd be something Jack would do :3 **

**Reviews are love!**

**P.S. I have nothing against gay people, I am bisexual myself so don't take it as an offence please. **


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